20181116.0430

One of the things I appreciate about my current employment situation is that it allows me time to do some writing (which is strange, because I seem to be struggling to do the writing that I want to do). Among others, I don't have to take work home at night--or not as much as used to be the case--and I don't have nearly so much of it to do before I work to get my Mrs. and Ms. 8 on their way every morning, so there's some time that I can put to the task of putting words together in some semblance of order and reason. I appreciate having the opportunity to do so, certainly, although it might be argued that I need to do more to ensure that the work I do in that line is directed toward ends that might conduce to my family's support.
To be sure, there is a fair bit of what I've done in this webspace that I might be able to put that way, with some time and attention. The materials are in place, and I'm capable of editing decently enough. (After three degrees in English and a dozen years teaching, I ought to be.) And there're some other things that might emerge from them, as well, that might work in different ways, if I can but take the time to make them happen. I find myself somewhat hesitant to do so, however. I suppose it is fear of rejection at work; I've gotten quite a few rejections about things I've written, far more than acceptances. And I note with some aspersion that my readership in this blog is quite low; if folks won't read what I write when it's free, why would they pay to do so? (The other blog is doing better in terms of readership, but students are something of a captive audience; the comparison's not entirely fair.)
I know I need to get over it, though. It's not like it's much of an issue for me in practice; I keep putting out materials here, despite not having the readership I'd like to see, so I'm clearly okay with relatively limited circulation. And there are the old adages of missing all shots not taken and of failure being certain when no attempt is made. I've got the time, perhaps; I don't know that I could add working on projects for publication to the writing I already do around the work I do, both in my day job and in the teaching I still do. But it might be coming up on time to take a bit of a break from some of the blogging I do or some of the other side-projects, focusing on writing in a more "professional" capacity than I've heretofore done (though I have gotten paid for my writing on more than one occasion, thank you kindly). If I do, it'll be so I can get something else put together that'll be well worth the time away. Or I hope so, at least.