20131123.1012

I know that I am later than usual in getting this piece written and posted so that it can be seen.  I do have a tendency to sleep in on the weekends--a tendency I intend to enjoy while I can, since the birth of my child will significantly inhibit my ability to do so.  There are times, however, when even the extended sleep that such days as today afford me do not leave me feeling rested; today is one of them (giving the lie to some earlier comments).  I was asleep for some nine hours, perhaps with a few momentary interruptions (I had set my alarm clock for the workday time), but I feel no better than I do when I get half that.  And I do not know why this is.

That my complaint comes off as weak mewling is known to me.  My life is easy, nearly indolent (as I have noted), and so for me to complain of fatigue suggests that my stamina is...not what it ought to be.  I do not labor with my body, and I do not exercise that body nearly so much as I once did, so I have precious little reason to actually be tired beyond what a simple night's sleep will restore.  Yet I still find myself in such a position, that even a good night of sleep does not leave me refreshed, not fully.  I am forced to wonder how much worse it will be once my child is born and my sleep is dependent upon the child's--and the newly born are not noted for sleeping nights through in peace.

It is but one of the many worries that I have as I approach fatherhood.  And, as with the general complaint, I know that it is...odd for me to have such concerns.  My beloved and wonderful wife is doing the work of bearing our child, and I know that she endures significant discomfort to do so.  (The specifics are hers to share or not, but we have been told by the physicians that they are far from unusual.)  I am impacted only insofar as I am sympathetic to her (which is a fair bit, I admit, but it is not my own body that is being subjected to the strains of gestation and that will be made to give birth).  How, then, have I a right to have such...annoyances, let alone to voice them?

Perhaps I am support for claims that "male" is the lesser gender, some of which are medical, and some cultural.  Perhaps I am simply weak, myself, and am having to face that weakness now that I am entering into a position where it can impact others whom it ought not to make suffer (or am I overestimating my importance that I think I might be able to have such negative impact?).  Or, perhaps, I am simply having a less-than-optimal morning because I am, despite the hopes and to the consternations of many, simply human.