Monday, September 29, 2014

20140929.0712

The work week is beginning again (as though it ever really ends; there is a reason I brought up the workend, after all), and I find myself a bit...apprehensive about it. This week, after all, sees the submission of six-week grades, a sort of progress report on my students, and I have the notion that a number of them are going to be...displeased with what I will have to submit. I have already told them that the grades cannot be altered once submitted and that they will derive entirely from observed performance leading up to the submission, but I am certain some will come to me to plead for extra credit or a grade change. (They always do.) Frankly, I do not want to have to deal with the whining or with the fallout from the whining (for despite what is attested here and elsewhere about what ought to happen, student reports do much to influence re/hiring decisions, and I am not so secure that I can afford not to worry about rehiring).

What makes matters worse is that I believe I am due for course evaluations soon. Because of my position, I have been subject to additional scrutiny, which takes the form more of student evaluations than faculty observations. I would like to have more of the latter, particularly since the latter can result in letters of recommendation that work to my advantage. (I recall, suddenly, that I need to update my CV again. I recall, too, that I need to ask a few people for dossier letters, just to be safe. And I need to send out more job applications; I have been slower of late, for obvious reasons.) But that requires complicated scheduling, and I am not the only busy person about. Maybe I can make something happen, try to pull in favors...but in the meantime, I am obliged to be concerned for what my students will write about me.

I ought not to be, I know. I ought to simply do my job as best as I am able. But I also have responsibilities that require me to maintain steady employment; there is the job as officially described, and there is the job that is tacitly understood but often more important, and the two do come into conflict. It is not at all a comfortable situation, and it is not one that training in teaching (which I have at the undergraduate, graduate, and post-graduate levels; I am a professional, and I seek to refine my skills continuously) generally discusses. (Seriously. Administrative rigmarole occupies quite a bit of time for those who would teach; it ought to be covered in professional development courses and seminars.) I have handled it relatively well so far; I have been renewed before. But I am not ever certain that I will be again. I have seen too many dismissed quietly, despite good performance, to trust to things before I have a contract in hand. It is a shame, really; things could be so much better...

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