20110117.1034

Ukemi, the breakfalls taught in many martial arts, can save your life.

Bear with me.

My first car was a 1980 Ford Granada, a two-door, powder-blue contraption that smelled of slightly rotten wood, various automotive fluids, and, in short order, the kind of funk that only a nerdy teenage boy with a fondness for bacon and Hot Pockets can generate. But it was a car, and good enough for what I needed--which was to go down Sidney Baker to buy burgers and tacos.

One morning, my friends--all two of them--and I had met at the high school. I think there was some kind of event going on, but I don't remember. Anyway, it came into our minds (as should be no surprise, given that we were teenage boys) that it would be fun to screw around with our cars in said parking lot. And so we did.

At one point, I got out of my car to do something or other; I don't remember what. But I do remember that my friend got into the driver's seat of my car and put the beast in gear. And I ran after, jumped, and caught onto the back of the thing. Hanging from the car, doing my best to embrace the back glass, I laughed as my friend motored around the lot. I was still laughing when he made a sharp left turn and I lost my grip.

By my best guess, the car was going about 35.

Normally, falling from a vehicle going at that speed is significantly deleterious to human health. But I had, at that point, been in martial arts classes (if sporadically) for five years or so, and I was (and remain) fairly well-schooled in first principles.

Falling down.

The first thing that typically gets taught to students in judo, classical jiujitsu, aikido, and similar arts is how to hit the ground without sustaining significant injury. Those who follow those arts know that quite a bit of practice involves being put onto the ground--and neither always nor often gently--so that knowing how to do so is vital. And it was certainly vital in my case.

I did what is called zempo kaiten ukemi, the front rolling breakfall. It took seven, maybe eight revolutions for me to dissipate the momentum of the fall entirely. I scraped my palm and my knee, and I ruined a pair of pants, but that was far better than the alternative.

So, kids, learn to fall down. It helps.