Friday, June 13, 2014


That the Spurs won last night pleases me.

My wife, Ms. 8, and I are expecting company this weekend; both of Ms. 8's grandfathers will be at Sherwood Cottage over Father's Day weekend. It is a trifecta of fatherhood, really, one that may well spur what an old professor of mine called an "unholy synergy" among us, as I am fortunate to get along well with both my father and my father-in-law, and they get on well enough with one another. It should make for an interesting time, particularly tomorrow, when the plan is to work the grill. (And comments about my lawn will be...voiced, I am sure. Rain has fallen repeatedly at Sherwood Cottage, coming just often enough to keep the yard from getting dry so that I can push a mower through it. Maybe I can get it taken care of today...maybe.)

There was a time when I would not have considered such a thing--not just the in-laws bit (although I did have times when I doubted I could get another date, let alone find a wife--and certainly not so good a wife as I have). I test as being strongly introverted, drawing strength from quiet and calm, and my feelings about "home" are on record. People coming over tends to disrupt calm, and people coming over feels in some senses like I am letting them inside me, and I am willing to engage in the excitement of my (externalized) self being penetrated only rarely, and only by a few. (I am very much aware of the overtones of the statement, thank you kindly.) I am lucky in that those who do find their way in know what to do once they are inside and manage to hit all of the right spots when they get ready to come.

Over the years of being married, I have grown more accustomed to having other people in my space--even to allowing that the space is not mine but ours. And so I have grown more comfortable with having people over, not only as guests during the day, but even overnight and for days or weeks at a time (my mother-in-law, for instance, has once or twice been up for a couple of weeks, and it helped with adjusting to the presence and demands of Ms. 8). It is still  "thing" to have people over, of course; I work hard to be hospitable, even with family, and that takes adjustments and thus attention and effort. (I do not necessarily begrudge them.) But it is not a major production anymore, not a major imposition, not an untenable disruption.

The change is a good one, I think. While I doubt I am going to open a bed and breakfast anytime soon, I did not do well to isolate myself so much as I did and to shut out others as I did--all innuendo and double entendre aside. And I can perhaps teach Ms. 8 a lesson that I did not learn until far later in life than I ought to have, which strikes me as a good thing to try to do.

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