Tuesday, March 8, 2016


Work continues, of course. I have begun my freelance write-up and will be plugging away at it throughout the day today. I will also be sitting for a call, taking one of a sort I have had many times before; I can hope that the results will be favorable. This evening, I will have a tutorial session, as well. So things are more or less in line with what I expect in that regard.

The Mrs. will have much to do today, as well. Her normal workday--and today would normally have her at work for the full workday--will be amended somewhat, as she will come home to look after Ms. 8 while I sit for the aforementioned call. It is not a thing that we necessarily enjoy doing; there is something that sits ill with me about having my wife subordinate her work to my pursuit of more work. But it is a thing we have discussed and agreed upon, and if things do go well on the call, it will be worth the trouble. If they do not, of course, it will not, and we will have to search out other options for our futures. (Some of them are already in progress. Contingencies are helpful to have.)

Ms. 8 continues to thrive. She is experiencing some of the effects of the "terrible twos," throwing screaming tantrums upon being rebuked and going limp as a means of protest at various points. She is also starting to get slappy and prone to kicking. I find myself compelled to play the role of oppressor, physically removing her from situations and locations, whether to protect things that her mother and I need to keep around or to protect her from such dangers as the hot oven. I am used to being the bad guy, of course, as I have attested in this webspace on no few occasions. (A commentary offered on Zawacki encapsulates the attestation nicely, I think.) There is something...less pleasant about being the bad guy to my daughter, though, and something nags at me with the notion that I am doing the job of father wrong. I mislike doing any job badly; I mislike more that the most important seems to be getting done least well.

To turn: I note that a year ago saw me in similar circumstances to those I face at present, although the day was different and the shift in time that is yet coming had already occurred. (Hooray, cyclical chronology!) Then, as now, I had work to do and a family for whom to do it. Then, as now, I was not able to attend to any of what I ought to do as well as I think I ought to do. Then, as now, I had freelance work and teaching work to do, as well as the search for more to conduct. And I am still here, still plugging away as my work continues. If nothing else, I have reason to hope that I will be able to endure.

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