20190113.0430

One of the joys of writing such pieces as I have been writing this month is the freedom to treat topics as they come to me. I am not yoked to one idea or another, but can range freely across them, weaving disparate things together in ways that I hope illuminate insufficiently explored aspects of each. I can address matters as they arrive in my mind, working them out as much or as little as seems prudent to me and moving on to the next at a time and in a manner of my choosing. Constrained only by medium, location of writing, and available time, I am able to write as I will, which relatively few have luxury to do and fewer still indulge, and I am aware that I am fortunate to be able to do so as I do, and largely to this point without penalty--though, again, peril looms, and I know that what I have written may not be read well by those who may be able to do something to voice their discontent.
One of the problems of writing such pieces as I have been writing this month is that same freedom. Because I am not anchored to one topic or another, I drift among topics as they occur to me, and while that may well be revelatory for those who want to psychoanalyze either the writerly persona I adopt in putting these pieces together or the actor who performs the role, that does not necessarily make for the easiest or smoothest reading. Nor does it prompt the deepest and most detailed investigations of individual ideas, which is necessary to be able to get from them what they contain and make some kind of potentially useful conclusion that can be used, in turn, to aid the understanding of yet other ideas. Without the structure imposed by adherence to a single, central idea, the writing is apt to grow disconnected and dissolute, traits which are no more prized in a piece of writing than in a writer who would make them--or anyone else, for that matter.
The tension is one that I have seen reflected in the classroom no less than in my own writing. In class after class after class, students chafe both at having their topics restricted and at having freedom to choose their topic; they both want structure and reject it. And I cannot blame them for feeling the tension or being frustrated by it, not since I am, myself, similar in feeling and being frustrated by the tension. For me, though, writing in multiple venues and for multiple audiences (some larger than others, to be sure) is an aid in negotiating the tension. If I want to write freely, I write here. If I want to record events in my life, I write in my personal journal. If I want to wax eloquent about some idea, I put it in the other webspace, or else I set it up for presentation in one of the few conference appearances I still make. Depending on the topic, it might go into another webspace, entirely. But, again, I have outlets that others do not--and I have the time and resources to make use of those outlets, which are also luxuries.
My solution is not a panacea. I doubt anything is. But I will still use the salve available to me, and I will hope others find the balm they need.